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Left Field Moments in Fiction
Posted on: Fri, 10/08/2010 - 19:32
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Left Field Moments in Fiction
Have you ever been reading a novel or piece of fanfiction, most likely the latter, and come across a trivial plot point of conversation that just utterly ruined the story for you? I am not talking about the large plot holes in stories or major events, like months of camping in Book 7, or endings that just make no sense. Rather, I am talking about small out of character moments that really have no effect on the overall story beyond just be an odd moment that takes you out of the believable story, like Anakin asking Padme if she was an angel when they first meet.
I ask this because I was reading the new story by sbmcneil. It is a retelling of Book 7, and in it, Hermione leaves accidentally with Ron after the locket makes Ron storm out of the tent. Harry is left alone and so goes on alone. In the process, he is shopping for food and some kid is selling kittens beside the road, so Harry just decides to get one.
The first thought that went through my head was, "Seriously? You are buying a kitten while searching for horcruxes and trying to stay out of site of Lord Voldemort's supporters?"
I finished the chapter and then just stopped. I could not deal with the glib inanity of the plot. How could I, as a reader, trust the author to have a sense of drama and tension when he/she just throws an idea against the wall and says, "This may be funny. Let's put a kitten with Harry and let the hi-jinks kick into gear."? I really cannot, and therefore, I cannot waste my time reading the story.
I had the same trouble with Jim Hines' Goblin Hero. I loved the first book Goblin Quest, but he introduced a sycophant follower for the main character Jig in the second book. She doesn't travel with the group and follows behind and really offers little to the overall plot. Because of that, I started and then stopped reading the book like three times before finishing it. I'm glad I got past that point, because the book is very good, but that one minor character almost ruined it for me. I fully believe that character and plot arc could have been removed from the book without affecting the story beyond a few minor adjustments.
Now, as I am writing this post, I am wondering how many good books I have stopped reading because of some minor issue like that. I know I never completed a novel by a friend of mine because I couldn't get past the fact that she jumped POV from the first chapter to the second in order to introduce some new characters who then met the main characters from the first chapter. It was disconcerting to me as a reader.
I sometimes wonder if I am being too neurotic when I read, but then, when I read, I want to lose myself in the book. I hate it when the narrative breaks me out of the moment.
-Jonathan
Comments
Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist had one moment that really pulled me out of the story. It did serve to make the character of Eli just that much more tragic, but I could have done without it. It didn't completely ruin the book, but it made it less enjoyable. A lonely, bullied, twelve-year-old boy befriends the new girl that moves into the apartment next to his. After he has already fallen for her, he discovers that she is a vampire. He is so starved for attention that he doesn't turn her away. At one point in the last quarter of the book, she kisses him, and through that kiss, telepathically shares a memory from before she was made a vampire. She does this to explain to him what she has just revealed about her true nature. (And no I don't mean the bit about being a vampire.)
I won't tell you in case you read the book someday (and I do recommend it), but it was a detail that could have just been left out entirely. Her character is already tragic enough. Perpetually stuck at the age of twelve. Always having to move around to avoid drawing attention. The only real contact with people that aren't food is with the old man who cares for her during the day. And the only reason he does this is because he is a pedophile and hopes that he may eventually be rewarded for his service. The author even manages to make that guy seem tragic. The author is Swedish, and the book is set in Blackberg, Sweden, a suburb of Stockholm.
There were other moments that didn't seem to serve any purpose but to help further define exceedingly minor characters. But even those bits were interesting. That one detail about Eli really didn't need to be there.
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If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.
I had not realized that Let the Right One In was a novel. I saw the original Swedish film a few years ago, and I thought the premise was good but that the characters were not very well portrayed. I will have to pick up the novel and read it.
- “Perhaps, in those days, there were a few among men, a few of clear sight and clean soul, who refused to surrender that word ["I"]. What agony must have been theirs before that which they saw coming and could not stop! Perhaps they cried out in protest
The original theatrical subtitles were not included on the first American DVD release. There was some kind of licensing issue where they didn't want to pay a second time for that particular subtitle translation. Or at least I think that was the issue. It has since been released with the original subtitles, but you have to manually select them from the menu, because there are four English subtitle tracks. And just pressing the subtitle button on the remote doesn't tell you which English version, only that it is English.
October first of this year, there was an American adaptation released in theaters called Let Me In starring Chloe Grace Moretz (Hit Girl from Kickass) as the vampire. Each film version has different strengths and weaknesses. The American version is a slower paced movie, which is rather the opposite of what you would expect with our short attention spans and everything.
The 'left field moment' from the novel, is very briefly shown on screen in the Swedish film, but it is so brief that most will not notice it for what it is, and those that do will be confused because there is no explanation. That shot is absent from the American film. Thankfully.
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If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.
There is one thing about Moxy's "Erasing the Future" that almost made me want to stop reading it because I find it so wrong. If you haven't read the story, basically, a Harry from a future where everyone dies uses a spell to send his soul back in time and he ends up in his 6 year old body. Not to long after he arrived in the past, he ends up sharing a bed with the 5 year old Ginny. In fact, I lost count of how many times in the story does Harry end up in bed with Ginny... Harry's already an adult who in the future he escaped from, was married to Ginny. Ginny on the other hand is still a kid. It just doesn't seem right for them to share a bed until Ginny is a bit older...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
The thing that I keep seeing lately is out-of-character dialogue from Dumbledore. (Though recently I read a story in which Lupin says "No way!") If it weren't fanfiction, that is to say written mostly by folks who are enthusiastic and having fun and so on, I might be inclined to say, "If you can't write in a character's voice, then omit the character." Dumbledore being overly casual or using slang or something really is just as bad as him shouting obscenities in "My Immortal".
Then I might want to warn you of a scene in story one of my friends is writing. She hasn't written that scene yet but has it outlined. Dumbledore tries his hand at brake dancing and ends up in the hospital wing. Its out of character for him but in the story he is trying to gain the trust of a heavily discriminated minority that lives on the "border" of the Wizarding and Muggle Worlds. Several kids from this minority were invited to a dance at Hogwarts so I think I don't I need to explain why Dumbledore was trying to brake dance in the first place...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
Then I might want to warn you of a scene in story one of my friends is writing. She hasn't written that scene yet but has it outlined. Dumbledore tries his hand at brake dancing and ends up in the hospital wing. Its out of character for him but in the story he is trying to gain the trust of a heavily discriminated minority that lives on the "border" of the Wizarding and Muggle Worlds. Several kids from this minority were invited to a dance at Hogwarts so I think I don't I need to explain why Dumbledore was trying to brake dance in the first place...
A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.
I think I can explain why he got injured; he was probably using cars or even lorries. Breakdancing is the form that involves just humans, although I'm advised that that is an outsiders term.
he was probably using cars or even lorries. Breakdancing is the form that involves just humans, although I'm advised that that is an outsiders term.
Yes! I was going to comment on the spelling, but you beat me to it, and much more creatively.
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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks
he was probably using cars or even lorries. Breakdancing is the form that involves just humans, although I'm advised that that is an outsiders term.
Yes! I was going to comment on the spelling, but you beat me to it, and much more creatively.
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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks
I did think about a comment on air-breaks and cliffs, but that would have been obvious and let us face it, down right sad
a story by Ruskbyte in which Ginny has been granted great power by Harry, has proven herself, and yet she is still submissive around Snape. I just don't get it. I think his argument would be that because they are still young, they would be cowed by authority, but it's just an annoying detail that pulls me right out of the story. This author has done that before. You can't give a character tons of power and then have them stay exactly the same as they were. It's stupid.