MetaFic

The conversation between Riddle and the diary is riveting. It had never occurred to me that he would want to communicate with it, but of course he'd want to test whether it worked. As a conversation it lacks a certain tension, since they're in such perfect agreement, but that's what makes it so creepy.

I also love the idea that the blood quill is necessary to create this particular type of diary. I'm afraid I didn't fully understand the significance of its being a Fwooper feather, but of course FF writers have made much of the maddening effects of the Fwooper.

There were some minor errors of grammar and diction here, some of which I think were probably typos. They don't detract from the story significantly.

It's interesting that both of you decided that the diary was the first horcrux. I've read the discussion thread on that subject, but I'm pretty sure the ring had to have come first (despite what the Lexicon says).

It's fascinating that the horcrux-Riddle finds it liberating to be free of its shackles, and it makes the reader wonder what the shackles were. The body itself, of course, but I suspect that the diary is talking also about emotional shackles, ties to fear and hope.

While both Tom and Horcrux!Tom seem to be rather unsavory types (laughing at my understatement), Horcrux!Tom comes across as even blacker. Perhaps that has to do with the small size of the soul piece: all the anger and bitterness in a compact package. Of course, I find it ironic that Horcrux!Tom feels liberated by being free of his body whereas the main soul piece of Voldemort is anything but sanguine about losing his corporeal self 40 years later. Regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed Tom testing and communing with his Horcrux. The disturbing synchronicity of the conversation was to be expected, but it was still disturbing to see the two Toms encouraging each other and reaffirming their course.

While reading this, I kept thinking about ink and blood. In CoS, scarlet ink spilled all over the diary, which must have looked very bloody indeed before it was absorbed, and Harry then wrote (I’ve assumed although it isn’t specified) in the diary in scarlet ink, and. Here we are, 50 years earlier, and Tom is creating this evil thing by using his blood and writing with a red liquid. Is it ink or blood? I will assume blood. I like this idea, as it makes me wonder if it was Harry’s “very own ink” that was forming Tom’s words… or was it Tom’s blood. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that JKR chose scarlet ink for that scene. The scarlet ink conjured the image of words written in blood. In this story, we can pretend it’s true that it’s Tom’s blood. Of course, if that was your intent, I would have loved a moment to clarify that. After the Horcrux creation, Tom switches to black ink. It would’ve been nice for Horcrux!Tom’s words to be described as a glistening red. If this never occurred to you, then congratulate yourself on inadvertently creating interesting avenues of thought for your readers.

Technically, your writing is solid with only a few minor mistakes here and there. Your language is engaging and draws the reader in. I truly enjoyed reading this, so thank you for sharing. Nicely done!